packing sucks!

This one is short and sweet! I hate packing...I hate moving....I hate begging people that are stronger than me to help me pack and move...I have literally spent every night at home the last few nights packing all the junk that I have.

Jason is going to get the great end of the stick when I am all done since I am going through all of the stuff we have collected over the last 9 years and deciding 3 options. Jenn Jason or TRASH! I was going to say donate as well for a 4th option but honestly I am leaving all that stuff in Jason's....he can deal with it later...the house is much bigger than my place is going to be!

On that part I am starting to feel like I am getting items off my list accomplished. I have a place to live OFFICIALLY! I will hopefully be able to sleep in a bed in the next 10 days! I am setting bills in my name again (yuck) and transferring others into Jason's name...haha...I still need to open a new bank account...this is harder than it seemed to me in the beginning...I hate anyone holding my money BUT I have bills that are due like yesterday and it is hard to pay credit cards with cash! Plus I fill so rich when I actually have cash...it is not something that I have been used to for so long...

I think I will stick with only using cash for my everyday items..it has helped me budget myself...another thing I need to get checked off is setting up a realistic budget for myself...I feel like adding in one good bottle of vodka a month is not extreme...but since my birthday is next month I am OK if others want to give me bottles for slow months...HELLO I am commission ONLY...priorities people!

I also need to mention in this blog that I have an amazing supportive family and friends! I know this is hard for everyone and I don't expect anyone to choose sides I just want everyone to get along. Jason is a great guy, a great dad, and really loving and supportive of the decisions I am making in my life it is just hard to think that we grew so far apart in the last few years. It is going to be hard to adjust for both of us. Yesterday I caught myself calling me because I was so pumped that I did not have to put a deposit down for GAS SERVICE!! Funny huh...since it is for the home I am setting up for me and the kids....and not with him...

I know deep down I will always love him and I am happy that I had DYLAN TANNER AND EMILY with him because I cannot imagine any other person that is a better father than him!

OK back to me work to do list! BURGH!!

ohh on another note if I have not called and talked to you about all of this it is not due to the fact that I am ignoring you or being rude it is just mainly do to my pride. I love talking about my self and the kids (we all know that) it is jsut taht I hate when the first thing out of someones mouth is I am so sorry...we can talk anytime...I dont want people to suck me down into a deep depression and talk about it all of the time...honestly this is just one part of my life right now...the kids still need me and I still work my butt off (maybe more now since I am paying all the bills on my own).