ROCKETS ROCK!

Last night was a blast! To say the least! If there is one thing that i have mastered with having 3 children is that I can throw a kids birthday party. I will be honest I only ended up throwing this one at the last minute since I had a fear that Dylan was going to be disappointed in not having a big party like I always give him! It must stem from not having a bunch of birthday parties growing up since my parents were so poor with back to school that their just was not enough money at the end of the day.

Dylan received a bunch of new clothes(what i begged other moms to buy, hey I have 2 others to buy back to school stuff for too) and some really fun toys. I am trying to be more attentive to what he talks to me about when we are at different stores. when I was buying a new camera about a year ago he really wanted a pirates of the Caribbean camera...no way Jose was I going to buy him a $50 camera....HELLO TARGET CLEARANCE AISLES...for 9.98 I was able to buy him a cool yellow sponge bob camera that is digital and all I have to do is download the pictures for him!! We also bought him a bow and arrow set (toy) since he never gets to play with his real one so I thought it would be good to play with (also target clearance) and a few other random things...the BIG GIFT OF THE NIGHT was his 7ft tall ROCKET! when he was at camp he LOVED the rocket that they shot off daily...I went on a hunt to find one...but luckily I had told my family what I was looking for and they found a great one clearance from $50 down to $20!!! GREAT DEAL!

IT was a blast to say the least...I think all of us adults were nervous since it shoots up about 100 ft in the air and was not sure where it was going to land...we were ok it stayed in the area and we let the kids shoot it 3 times...it takes a lot of work to set it up each time...lucky for me I had Dom and Travis to take care of that part.

All in all the kids had a blast and by 9pm when the last few were leaving my voice was donzo and I was wipped out. I tried my best to clean the upstairs back up for Jason. He missed the whole party since he closed last night and got home about 9:30 from work.

We chatted for a few minutes fought with the kids to go to bed. Then I went took a shower and crashed...I did not read, watch TV or pass GO! I was out!

I feel weird thinking about that is the last party that I am going to throw at that house. I am sure that Jason will do something for them but really that is always where I shine! Wow that is a depressing thought...better get back to work and stop thinking about sad stuff..

packing sucks part 2

I thought the last blog was going to simply say that packing sucks...but clearly I had more on my mind!

HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY DYLAN! 8 year today you were born at Via Christi St. Joseph at 4:59pm! You healthy 7 lbs 3 oz 21 inche little man!

BTW you are the only kid out of the 3 that dad bought the expensive baby shoes for! Sorry Tanner and Emily I discovered Payless shoes worked well too and they were a 3rd of the cost!

packing sucks!

This one is short and sweet! I hate packing...I hate moving....I hate begging people that are stronger than me to help me pack and move...I have literally spent every night at home the last few nights packing all the junk that I have.

Jason is going to get the great end of the stick when I am all done since I am going through all of the stuff we have collected over the last 9 years and deciding 3 options. Jenn Jason or TRASH! I was going to say donate as well for a 4th option but honestly I am leaving all that stuff in Jason's....he can deal with it later...the house is much bigger than my place is going to be!

On that part I am starting to feel like I am getting items off my list accomplished. I have a place to live OFFICIALLY! I will hopefully be able to sleep in a bed in the next 10 days! I am setting bills in my name again (yuck) and transferring others into Jason's name...haha...I still need to open a new bank account...this is harder than it seemed to me in the beginning...I hate anyone holding my money BUT I have bills that are due like yesterday and it is hard to pay credit cards with cash! Plus I fill so rich when I actually have cash...it is not something that I have been used to for so long...

I think I will stick with only using cash for my everyday items..it has helped me budget myself...another thing I need to get checked off is setting up a realistic budget for myself...I feel like adding in one good bottle of vodka a month is not extreme...but since my birthday is next month I am OK if others want to give me bottles for slow months...HELLO I am commission ONLY...priorities people!

I also need to mention in this blog that I have an amazing supportive family and friends! I know this is hard for everyone and I don't expect anyone to choose sides I just want everyone to get along. Jason is a great guy, a great dad, and really loving and supportive of the decisions I am making in my life it is just hard to think that we grew so far apart in the last few years. It is going to be hard to adjust for both of us. Yesterday I caught myself calling me because I was so pumped that I did not have to put a deposit down for GAS SERVICE!! Funny huh...since it is for the home I am setting up for me and the kids....and not with him...

I know deep down I will always love him and I am happy that I had DYLAN TANNER AND EMILY with him because I cannot imagine any other person that is a better father than him!

OK back to me work to do list! BURGH!!

ohh on another note if I have not called and talked to you about all of this it is not due to the fact that I am ignoring you or being rude it is just mainly do to my pride. I love talking about my self and the kids (we all know that) it is jsut taht I hate when the first thing out of someones mouth is I am so sorry...we can talk anytime...I dont want people to suck me down into a deep depression and talk about it all of the time...honestly this is just one part of my life right now...the kids still need me and I still work my butt off (maybe more now since I am paying all the bills on my own).

Dylan

I was sitting by myself last night when I started thinking about the fact that my kids are starting to grow up on me. I know i know they are only turning 8 and 5 and soon 4 but I remember wondering what it was going to be like to have kids that age when I was carrying one in a car seat, dragging one by the arm and pushing the other one in wagon all at the same time (and you guys wonder why I am so skinny).

Dylan turns 8 in 2 days and I remember the day that he was born the most since it was such a life changing experience for me and the moments that actually looking back made me grow up. Because of Dylan I am the person that I today. I wanted to be the best mom that I could be and be successful at work as well.

Dylan.

I remember that day you were born, the most beautiful baby boy I had ever seen all 7 lbs 3 Oz and 21 inches of you.

I remember how you never slept EVER and I walked around like a zombie for the first 2 years of your life.

I remember how you called me daddy and never mommy....and how I found out you starting crawling was that you crawled your way into another room and pulled my curling iron down on your arm and had to wear a cast for weeks.

i remember when aunt Jessie and I discovered your first tooth only to find out later that it was just milk!

I remember little rascals and you singing the pickle song. that's how you got the nickname of pickle...that and when you were a baby you loved the taste of sour stuff.

i remember watching you and Izzy climbing the cabinets in the kitchen to steal cookies and getting stuck on the drawers and being to afraid to climb back down.

i remember you losing your pants at our wedding and Katelyn chasing you around with them.

i remember when you became a big brother and met Tanner for the first time and was unsure why this little monster moved in with your mom and dad.

i remember the day of your EEG and how scared you were and how scared I was and how we both cried through the whole experience.

i remember how happy I was to finally hear your diagnosis and that all the research I had been doing was exactly correct.

i remember your love of clocks, then trains and now snakes. I cannot wait to see what is next. my hope is reading that is my love!

i remember the spring you played soccer and one of the kids on your team called you a mean name and how I walked away from the field instead of screaming at his mother for his manners since I knew that this was going to be a battle that you were going to have to fight for many years to come.

i remember in kindergarten when you came home every night and cried about all the little girls in your class chasing you since you did not understand they had crushes on you. You always thought they were being bullies!

i remember when you read your first book to me, tanner and Emily.

i remember when you told tanner that you were his big brother but not Emily's since he did not want a brother and a sister.

i remember when you told Jason that there was an owl in your tree house and that is was jacking around.

i remember when you cannonballed into the deep end of the pool by yourself...with no life jacket and proved to me that you know how to swim all by yourself!

i remember...

i remember...

i remember...

i remember...

i remember...

I cannot wait to fill in more blanks in your future...I know that losing your first tooth is right around the corner.

love, mommy

IN OTHER NEWS!

Okay where do I start on the updates!

Dylan- Attended Camp SSTAR last month and loved every minute of it! He came home everyday and had great stories to tell and they did group activities and I already bought his birthday present because he feel in love with the rocket that they shot EVERY SINGLE DAY! The counselors told me EVERYDAY and EVERY MORNING how much they were enjoying him and how helpful he was with the other campers! He was asked back on the last day and his spot will be ready for him next Summer! HURRAY! Thank you uncle DOM for paying for this! It is the best gift he could have been given! He also made a great new friend Seth and they have since seen each other for play dates!

Another great update is that Dylan is officially swimming in our pool with NO LIFE JACKET! This is such a big deal for him and I am such a proud mommy!

TANNER- since we have lived in our home (this is our 3rd summer) Tanner has not entered that pool with out going past the stairs. He hated the water, but he went outside of his comfort zone this year and is officially swimming with his life jacket. I have even been able to upgrade him to a cooler one that has a shark face and he loves it to pieces. He is even jumping into the deep end and letting his head go under water. I can tell by watching him in the water that he should be able to doggy paddle around without but I am not going to push him! ANOTHER Proud MOMMY MOMENT!

Emily- not such a star student in the water but always looks so stylish sitting in her "big girls only" pool. Always complete with pig tails, cute swim suit of the day and model sunglasses! She went and spent the night with some of my friends while I was out of town about a month ago and they gave her a good lesson on what happens when you ask questions that you might not want the answer to.

I cannot believe this summer is starting to come a close already. Enrollment is in a few weeks! I am enrolling 3 people this year! I cannot believe my boys are going to turn 8 and 5! I can still remember all the sleepless nights wishing for this time to come and now that it is here I want to turn back time! But i will admit that tying their own shoes and buckling their own seat belts is also pretty amazing!

Car update-as many of you know I was a dummy and decided to try and drive through some water not realizing how high the water was and flooded out my Charger! A few days later they totaled it out and I am STILL waiting for the GAP insurance to finish paying off the balance after my insurance company wired them their $!! So sad I still tear up over the stupid thing..I know it was just a car but it was the car I was going to give my boys for their first car! OH well. My parents helped me out and helped me buy a new car ! Smaller than my last car but gets great gas mileage and cute to boot! (sorry I love to try and use to boot in random ways) It is a 2010 Mazda 3! It has nothing great but it is black and really that is really my only requirement!

WOW it been a long time!

I say that but really everyday I have been trying to decide how to put into words what is going on in our household. the easiest way to put it is that we are currently going through some extreme changes as a family and since we are unsure of the present we dont know how to explain the future to anyone really.

The one thing that I can say is I am TRULY blessed to have the family and friends that GOD gave me they would support any decision that I felt was right for me and the kids. I am sad that my life is taking the turn that it is right now and I would never have thought when I got married and said my vows before GOD that I would be breaking them.

The next few months, weeks and days are more of a time of adjustment and prayer and support mainly for the kids and less for me and Jason. I am worried and afraid of what this change will do to their routine how it will affect them emotionally, physically and academically as well.

Please don't read this blog and take it the wrong way. Jason and I are still living together and get along great. But the funny part is the things that we argued about daily do not come up as issues any longer when we both accepted that our relationship was and is over. I am glad that we get along now and I am hopeful that we will be friends for the rest of our life. I still count him as my best friend and I cannot imagine not talking with him everyday.

CAMP SSTAR!

Dylan received his acceptance to Camp SStar VIA email on Tuesday afternoon. He is pumped to say the least. This is the first year that he was accepted so it is going to be a learning experience for all of us! It is being held at Heart Spring in NE Wichita! The only draw back is that I will be driving him back and forth for that week but it will be worth it to see everything that he is learning and experiencing. The other bad part is the one vacation that we actually planned for this year is going to have to be canceled due to his camp. I just know through that this will be such a good experience for him that is worth it in the long run!